What's your Fave Joke? - ACAPELLAS4u - Your #1 Resource for FREE Acapella Downloads

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 25 total)

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December 12, 2006 at 9:29 am #536803

MBH
Participant

Anyone got any good ones?

One of my faves is:

An Octpus walks into a bar, and says to the barman ‘I Can play any musical instrument you like’

So the barman gives him a guitar, he plays it like hendrix. So he shows him a piano, he plays it better than Elton John. So he gives him a set of bagpipes.

The Octopus fumbles around with it for a while but still no music. Barman asks ‘can’t you play it then?’ Octopus says…..’play it? I’ll fuck her brains out once i can get her pyjamas off!’

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December 12, 2006 at 9:29 am #605702

MBH
Participant

Anyone got any good ones?

One of my faves is:

An Octpus walks into a bar, and says to the barman ‘I Can play any musical instrument you like’

So the barman gives him a guitar, he plays it like hendrix. So he shows him a piano, he plays it better than Elton John. So he gives him a set of bagpipes.

The Octopus fumbles around with it for a while but still no music. Barman asks ‘can’t you play it then?’ Octopus says…..’play it? I’ll fuck her brains out once i can get her pyjamas off!’

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December 12, 2006 at 11:03 am #605711

Seanza
Participant

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Isabelle

Isabelle who?

Isabell not working?

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December 12, 2006 at 2:27 pm #605761

Nuclear Flower
Participant

lol…dude…the octopus joke is wonderful.

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December 16, 2006 at 8:13 am #606466

DJ Levant
Participant

Haha MBH, that Octopus joke is a mad one

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December 18, 2006 at 12:19 pm #606807

Seanza
Participant

FreeJ wrote:

a dyslexic man walks into a bra…

Lucky guy

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December 18, 2006 at 1:11 pm #606815

acapella
Keymaster

Nuclear Flower wrote:

lol…dude…the octopus joke is wonderful.

ditto!

My VERY old one that I enjoy for occasional threads such as this one.

"What’s the definition of Beans on Toast"?

Skinheads on a raft!

shit wasn’t it

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December 18, 2006 at 5:16 pm #606839

raggamuffle
Participant

why did the shroom go to the party?
cos he was a funghi

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December 23, 2006 at 2:02 am #607548

younggio
Participant

Knock jokes

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December 23, 2006 at 2:02 am #607549

younggio
Participant

Knock jokes

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December 24, 2006 at 3:19 pm #607790

Distomak
Participant

Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It rolled down the lane and turned into a farm

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January 6, 2007 at 12:24 pm #609071

Seanza
Participant

[quote quote="raggamuffle":1rx6vjav]why did the shroom go to the party?
cos he was a funghi[/quote:1rx6vjav]

No word of a lie, a 1st heard that joke from ma 5 year old brother

No offence, it’s true though!

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January 6, 2007 at 10:24 pm #609102

A-PLAY
Participant

lool^^ nice^^

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January 7, 2007 at 5:07 pm #609156

The_reverend
Participant

acapella wrote:

[quote quote="Nuclear Flower":19e7ypys]lol…dude…the octopus joke is wonderful.

ditto!

My VERY old one that I enjoy for occasional threads such as this one.

"What’s the definition of Beans on Toast"?

Skinheads on a raft!

s**t wasn’t it [/quote:19e7ypys]

Will you ban me if I say it was s**t?

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January 17, 2007 at 10:15 am #610337

AreS
Participant

I searched for the funniest joke in english ’cause i know some in german, but don’t want to write them down now. so thats what i found:

The article:
http://archives.cnn.com/2002/TECH/scien … index.html

The jokes:
http://www.laughlab.co.uk/topByCountry.html

I laughted at:
One intriguing result was that Germans — not renowned for their sense of humour — found just about everything funny and did not express a strong preference for any type of joke.

Yes that’s absolutly typical ^_^

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January 17, 2007 at 3:58 pm #610368

starsky
Participant

Good man

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March 23, 2010 at 12:26 pm #678303

DjpyetaftJay
Participant

When the men is over the corner he is away ( i am not so good in english)

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March 28, 2010 at 9:16 pm #678419

anarkie
Participant

2 cowboys talking about s*x. 1 cowboy says ‘I like the rodeo position !’ ‘I haven’t heard of that … ‘ says the other cowboy, ‘what is it ?’ ‘Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper ‘these feel just like your sisters’ and try and …hold on for 8 seconds !’

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April 14, 2010 at 2:23 pm #678855

Olsti
Participant

My personal favourit =)
I speak german and I think this joke is translated from german to english so there might be some errors. But I think you still get the point 😉

Woman Teacher: Billy, If there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1 down, how many are left?
Billy: None, the others would fly away.
Teacher: The answer is 4, but I like the way you think.
Billy: I have a question for you, Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream cones, 1 licking, 1 biting, and 1 sucking. Which one is married ?
Teacher blushes and answers nervously: The one sucking ?
Billy: The answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think.

And one you all know form the movie Pulp Fitction: (I didn’t get it first because of the german translation but then I laughed like hell =)

Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and smooshes him… and says, Catch up.

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May 9, 2010 at 1:39 am #679371

newpowersoulmate
Participant

A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny are all walking down the street and they see a fifty dollar bill. Who grabs it?

The dumb blonde. The other 3 don’t exist.

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May 20, 2010 at 11:00 pm #679645

halcyon_rave
Participant

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower?

You give that bitch a shovel. xD

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May 28, 2010 at 1:41 am #679811

nickd
Participant

[quote quote="MBH":328fzx4r]Anyone got any good ones?

One of my faves is:

An Octpus walks into a bar, and says to the barman ‘I Can play any musical instrument you like’

So the barman gives him a guitar, he plays it like hendrix. So he shows him a piano, he plays it better than Elton John. So he gives him a set of bagpipes.

The Octopus fumbles around with it for a while but still no music. Barman asks ‘can’t you play it then?’ Octopus says…..’play it? I’ll funk her brains out once i can get her pyjamas off!'[/quote:328fzx4r]

lololol Thats hilarious. Kudos, sir

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May 30, 2010 at 12:03 am #679847

repo136
Participant

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

I apologise. I’m useless at jokes and always fluff the punchline. But this is one I was told when I was 10 and I’ve somehow remembered it for decades.

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July 27, 2010 at 11:01 pm #681448

beakz
Participant

a mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, sorry we don’t serve people like you. The mushroom says, oh come on I’m a fun guy.

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September 29, 2010 at 10:11 am #682598

Blatter
Participant

There is a bear and a rabbit out in the woods shitting side by side.

The bear asks the rabbit: "Yo rabbit… Do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"

The Rabbit, smiling: "No, never!"

So the bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his arse with him.

…
The one that came to mind.

Cheers,
B

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What’s your Fave Joke?